I’m working through my emails & I opened this one Dr. Kelly Flanagan is referencing Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. I just gave my report to Sam last night about this book. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I read a previous session & it talks about fear & fear is something I was talking about the night before in my check in. I love these serendipitous moments. When something you need presents itself at the moment when you can actually use it. Sam & I had our 2nd deep dive day yesterday. We spoke about a lot of different things. One of the things I am grateful for is the idea that as long as I see my needs and taking care of myself as a “problem,” I will be working for him and I didn’t pay him $11,000 to work for him. I paid him $11,000 so he could work for me. While he has been working for me these past 3 years, only now am I getting the idea of his working for me. He is giving more of himself as a coach, he is giving me more attention. He is doing what I’m paying him to do. Guide me into being a good coach. A thoughtful person who cares about others and wants them to have a good life.
Just like he wants me to have a good life. I was able to talk about the book with thoughtfulness and respect. I read my book report and found it to be better than I expected. I didn’t like it when I first wrote it. I thought I had not answered the questions Sam asked. I thought I had totally missed the mark. When in fact I totally got the message Viktor Frankl was trying to bring forth.
I was worried about this session. I thought I wasn’t prepared. I did have a moment when I felt incompetent, but…I didn’t feel like that the whole time. He wanted me to take complete advantage of the time we had together. He wanted to know why the word difficulties was on the agenda. I said that I wanted to cover all bases.
He wants me to get to know that part of me that automatically goes to “I did it wrong.” I know there’s a story attached to that, but, what’s the truth behind the story & do I need to keep the story going. Do I have enough evidence over the last 3 years (at the very least) to be able to put the story to bed. I’m running out of time to read a session, so I’m going to close this out. But…I know this subject is just getting started.