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Thought I didn’t have very much to talk about

Thought I didn’t have very much to talk about

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Thought I didn’t have very much to talk about in last night’s session with CL. But I was wrong.

It’s nice to talk about how things are going well. It’s nice to talk about how I’m connected to my purpose at work. Being of service, being part of a team. Being easy to work with.

He shared a personal experience of his to show how self-care can create understanding and connection and that he can take his own advice too. It’s possible that what I thought was a short by effective phone call on Tuesday night was in fact, a short but deep phone call which might have led to my needing to take a mental health day yesterday? Or it could be my not getting to bed on time leading to needing more sleep. I did take 2 naps yesterday.

If I want to get up at 5a and get 7 units of sleep, I have to be in bed by 1130p, 1115p, ideally.
I’ve been getting to bed by 1230a and thus, missing an hour of sleep, which adds up by the weekend. I can’t afford that this week, because I have a Red Elephant event on Saturday. It’s one of those events where you pay $97 and if you attend, they give you your money back.
I’d like to say, how do they afford it, but I know how they afford it. They depend on you signing up for their coaching package at this event.

They use this 1 day event as a loss leader, much like the candy and magazine display at the check-out counter in the supermarket. If you come in for 1 or 2 items, you will be seduced by the visual appeal of all that other stuff and end up buying a shopping cart full by the time you’re ready to check out and when you get home, the “high” has worn off and you wonder why you bought all this stuff when you only wanted a quart of milk or a dozen eggs. The science of shopping. Beware!!!!!

When you’re thinking about one thing and an email about that thing arrives in your inbox

When you’re thinking about one thing and an email about that thing arrives in your inbox

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I’m working through my emails & I opened this one Dr. Kelly Flanagan is referencing Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. I just gave my report to Sam last night about this book. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I read a previous session & it talks about fear & fear is something I was talking about the night before in my check in. I love these serendipitous moments. When something you need presents itself at the moment when you can actually use it. Sam & I had our 2nd deep dive day yesterday. We spoke about a lot of different things. One of the things I am grateful for is the idea that as long as I see my needs and taking care of myself as a “problem,” I will be working for him and I didn’t pay him $11,000 to work for him. I paid him $11,000 so he could work for me. While he has been working for me these past 3 years, only now am I getting the idea of his working for me. He is giving more of himself as a coach, he is giving me more attention. He is doing what I’m paying him to do. Guide me into being a good coach. A thoughtful person who cares about others and wants them to have a good life.

Just like he wants me to have a good life. I was able to talk about the book with thoughtfulness and respect. I read my book report and found it to be better than I expected. I didn’t like it when I first wrote it. I thought I had not answered the questions Sam asked. I thought I had totally missed the mark. When in fact I totally got the message Viktor Frankl was trying to bring forth.

I was worried about this session. I thought I wasn’t prepared. I did have a moment when I felt incompetent, but…I didn’t feel like that the whole time. He wanted me to take complete advantage of the time we had together. He wanted to know why the word difficulties was on the agenda. I said that I wanted to cover all bases.

He wants me to get to know that part of me that automatically goes to “I did it wrong.” I know there’s a story attached to that, but, what’s the truth behind the story & do I need to keep the story going. Do I have enough evidence over the last 3 years (at the very least) to be able to put the story to bed. I’m running out of time to read a session, so I’m going to close this out. But…I know this subject is just getting started.